Do you feel like Wonder Woman or a little girl playing dress up?
For a long time I ran around being Wonder Woman
And Ioved it!
I was proud that I could multi-task
I was proud that if someone lost something I would be able to say “It’s in the bread bin”
The bread bin??? I hear you say
Not so strange in our house, our bread bin was on the kitchen top next to the back door and when my boys came home that was where everything got dumped
Every house will have a metaphorical “bread bin” where’s yours?
It was my job as SUPER MUM/WOMAN to not only know where everything was but to be able to get an item of clothing washed and back in the wardrobe the very same day!!!!!
And I did all this, ran my own business, supporting women that have experienced birth trauma, walked the dog, produced a home cooked meal every night and acted as un-paid taxi driver
And honestly, a part of me loved it, I wanted to be super woman, because that meant I was needed, I couldn’t be replaced, I was important
But my God it was tiring!
When my surprise baby came along at the ripe old age of 40 I was very very very reluctant to change things
I still wanted to be the lynch-pin in the household, the go to woman for everything, because it gave me a good feeling, I felt wanted, needed, and important.
My Wonder Woman costume now had to have un-do-able straps because I was breast feeding and I needed quick access
By this time I had sons who were in their late teens and in addition to being chief cook and bottle washer I was also a drugs and relationship counsellor
Sitting up with them all night when off their face was my normal!
Some people may have called me a mug, but I didn’t think so because I wanted to do everything and be everything to everybody
Until I was so sleep deprived and knackered with trying to be Wonder Woman that I stuck my finger in a hand held blender when it was switched on
A huge wakeup call if ever there was one
I knew from a mental level things had to change and I needed to ditch my costume but emotionally I just wasn’t ready
And this is where the little girl feelings come in
Our beliefs, our feelings of needing to be important, of needing to be needed come from our childhood
From times when we didn’t feel wanted, or needed, or important or enough
And we bring these beliefs with us into our adulthood
We view the world through the eyes of a little girl who felt alone or not special or not good enough or a failure
We dress up as Wonder Woman to cover up the little girl who just wants to feel wanted, important, enough, so she can feel better
Who are you dressing up as?
Is it time to ditch the big knickers and the fetching head band with the gold star?
I used EFT, the technique I support my clients with to overcome their traumatic experiences, to change how I felt about myself so I could ditch the Wonder Woman costume for good
Now if I dress up as Wonder Woman its just for fun!
I would love to hear what you think; did this ring any bells for you?
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or visit my website www.samanthaselby.com